Horror 2021 Countdown: The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1985)

 The Hills Have Eyes Part II (1985) dir. Wes Craven, Hills Two Corporation VTC

So, Craven had crated one of the bigger boogeyman of the 1980's but even the greats have bills to pay. It was actually shot in 1983 and production ceased due to lack of funds. After Freddy Kruger's debut, some brave souls figured with Craven's name on this turkey it would surely be fine. 

Eight years have passed since the Carter family ran afoul of the waste dwelling cannibals. Bobby Carter (Robert Houston) has tried his best to move on, but he's still plagued by nightmares and stock footage from the first film. 

He sponsors a motor-cross team along with his wife Rachel (Janus Blythe) but the site of their next race is too close to the desert for his comfort, so he entrusts his wife to handle everything while he rests at home. So it's Rachel, Beast (the surviving dog from the first film) and the kids heading off.

The kids and the rest of the team are pretty blank, save for Cass (Tamara Shepperd). Her only defining trait is she's blind. The team treks through the desert and we see flashbacks to the first film from the kids, who treat the whole thing as an urban legend and from Rachel. Why would she flashback? Well, it seems before she was Rachel Carter she was actually...Ruby!

Which raises even more questions. The team is heading towards the race at a leisurely pace when it dawns on them that everyone on the bus forgot about Daylight Savings Time, so now they've lost an hour! They have to hurry, but don't worry. One of the kids going over the map figures if they drive through the old bombing site they should shave off an hour, easy. And they might even see an old abandoned silver mine next to it! This makes Rachel uneasy, but then again dropping by family unexpected can be stressful. 

Yes, family. Pluto (Michael Berryman) still lives, despite getting his throat torn out. There's also Reaper (John Bloom), the never before mentioned uncle. Yeah, Papa Jupiter killed his mother being born and killed his older sister (prompting his daddy to beat him with a tire iron) yet something a seven foot tall homicidal lunatic was never mentioned. 

We also get a flashback from Beast's POV. 

Yeah bunch of morons here. The bus gets wrecked via a sharp rock. With a leaky gas tank, they decide to hoof it towards the base's old buildings and try to bum some gas off whoever clearly leaves there. Never mind that generators don't run on diesel but if the kid were half way smart they wouldn't be in this stinker. 

Remember that "If I wrote the Hills Have Eyes Part 2" thing I did back in 2016? Yeah, I wouldn't mind watching that one. Everyone is an abject moron, we also have about thirty minutes of flashback. So many questions yet everyone of them just raises more. How did Bobby and Ruby marry? Wouldn't there have been some paperwork needed? I doubt Papa Jupiter registered his kids for Social Security or birth certificates.