Vampirella, or why I don't write for a living

What with all the Marvel movies ranking in the dough, it's just damn funny that people are looking at comic books as inspiration nowadays. Back in the 90's you'd be darn lucky if the movie had even the same title.

Vampirella was the 1969 creation of Forrest J. Ackerman for his Warren Publishing. There had been movie talks as early as 1977 with none other than Hammer Studios in talks, but the studio's money issues derailed that project. Jim Wynorski stepped in around 1996 with backing from Showtime and directed...something certainly. If he can screw around with the character, why can't I?

The Hills Have Eyes Part II, or why I don't write for a living

I'll get around to Wes Craven's underwhelming follow up to the classic the Hills Have Eyes later, but for now I'd like to discuss what if I happened to be hanging out with Mr. Craven circa 1984.

Wild, Wild West or why I don't write for a living

Since I've tapped out the Highlander franchise, why not look at another film from the 90's?

The Wild, Wild West ran from 1965 to 1969. Creator Michael Garrison envisioned it as James Bond on horseback. When the movie came out, changes were made. My take would be a bit different.

Highlander 5, or why I don't don't write for a living

Since no one seemed to mine my takes on the last two Highlander sequels, why not continue?

As far as the fourth (Highlander: Endgame) goes, I'm not sure I'd change too much. The only plot point I'd alter is the assault on Sanctuary. It would still be on holy ground, the catch is Kell (Bruce Payne) has his Immortals attack the Watcher guards, while he uses regular mortal mooks to kill the Immortals.

But what about Highlander: The Source?

Highlander 3, or why I don't write for a living

Since I already tried my hand at Highlander 2, why not make it an even trilogy?

Of course, since the last film would end with Connor MacLeod ruling over an alien planet, where could the story go?

Highlander 2, or why I don't write for a living

I'm sure if you've been online for a bit you've seen or read a review of Highlander 2: The Quickening.

So, assuming I could travel back to the late 80's and get a job as a screenwriter, here's my take on the sequel that shouldn't have been.

Horror Countdown 2016: Martin (1977)

Martin (1977) dir. George Romero, Laurel Entertainment

And now we near the end my friends, but we have one more tale to keep us warm. We end the Horror Countdown this time with a vampire tale by George Romero and special effects by Tom Savini.

Horror Countdown 2016: Scanners (1981)

Scanners (1981) dir. David Cronenberg, Canadian Film Development Corporation/Filmplan/Victor Solnicki Productions

We're adding another director to the list this time. David Cronenberg, Canadian master of body horror, is a newcomer here and we picked Scanners as his first film to review.

Horror Countdown 2016: The Funhouse (1981)

The Funhouse (1981) dir. Tobe Hooper, Universal Pictures/Mace Neufield Productions

Tobe Hooper, when compared to the other directors on this list, didn't fare quite as well. He did Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but his follow up works didn't quite capture the public's imagination. Would the 1980's be kinder?

Horror Countdown 2016: Deadly Blessing (1981)

Deadly Blessing (1981) dir. Wes Craven, Polygram Pictures/Inter Planetary

By the 1980's Wes Craven's career was slowly changing. The 70's had seen him turn out some groundbreaking independent stuff and a few made for television flicks, but by now he was working for the major studios instead of the grindhouse circuit.

Horror Countdown 2016: Escape from New York (1981)

Escape from New York (1981) dir. John Carpenter, AVCO Embassy Pictures/International Film Investors/Goldcrest Films International

Maybe not a proper horror film, but Carpenter's 1981 thriller is just too good to ignore.  

Horror Countdown 2016: Gremlins (1984)

Gremlins (1984) dir. Joe Dante, Amblin Entertainment

One of the first films that I remember watching, sort of. Back in the day one could get records packaged with storybooks, with the film reenacted with either actors from the film or just some guy they grabbed. I listened to Gremlins a dozen times before I ever saw it.

Horror Countdown 2016: The Undead (1957)

The Undead (1957) dir. Roger Corman, American International Pictures/Balboa Productions

Moving into the realm of Roger Cormen, the Undead was the second film he made in 1957 and it only took six days. Maybe he should have taken a bit more time with this one.

Horror Countdown 2016: 13 Ghosts (1960)

13 Ghosts (1960) dir. William Castle, William Castle Productions

From Hitchcock we move back to the Hitchcock of gimmicks, and what a gimmick Castle gave us. Illusion-O may not be the best name, but it's a pretty neat. You can use the gimmick or not, but it does help with the film's overall presentation.

Horror Countdown 2016: Secret Agent (1936)

Secret Agent (1936) dir. Alfred Hitchcock, Gaumont British Picture Corporation

Moving into the director's section, we look at the early work of Alfred Hitchcock. The themes he would work with later are present here, showing us the master the man would become.

Horror Countdown 2016: Island of Lost Souls (1932)

Island of Lost Souls (1932) dir. Erle C. Kenton, Paramount Studios

Paramount doesn't have quite the reputation that Universal enjoys in regards to horror. They didn't do as many scare flicks as Universal, true, but that doesn't mean they didn't give it the old college try. There weren't many Universal films that could boast of being banned in England for twenty-five years, so this take on the H.G. Well's classic is another first.

Horror Countdown 2016: Chandu the Magician (1932)

Chandu the Magician (1932) dir. William Cameron Menzies, Marcel Varnel, Fox Film Corporation

Moving back a bit, we take some time to look at the filmography of Bela Lugosi. Dracula had made him a household world. How could he follow up such a performance? The 1930's version of a super hero film mostly.

Chandu the Magician was a popular radio show (1932 to 1950) focusing on the adventures of Chandu. In reality American born Frank Chandler, Chandu is tasked by his teachers in India to use his mystical abilities to conquer the evil that threatens mankind.

Horror Countdown 2016: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994) dir. Kim Henkel, Genre Pictures/Return Productions/Ultra Muchos Productions

We have a new addition to the lineup this year. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series was a mixed bag, with scare and groans aplenty. By the time number 4 was made (or escaped; the story behind the film is one filled with so many lawsuits and convoluted legal figuring the making of would have made a better film), the 90's were not totally conductive to the slasher genre.

Horror Countdown 2016: Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988)

Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988) dir. John Hough, Allied Vision

Small confession, I've never read Gary Brander's the Howling, but from most accounts this version is closer to the book than Dante's take. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.

Horror Countdown 2016: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990)

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation (1990) dir. Brian Yuzna, Silent Films, Inc.

We've seen two killer Santas and a killer Santa with a dome on his head. How could the saga of killer holidays continue?

Horror Countdown 2016: Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) dir. Dwight H. Little, Trancas International

When we last saw Michael, he had been blown up pretty good along with Dr. Loomis. Since part III didn't happened, what has Haddonfield's favorite son been up to?

Horror Countdown 2016: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988) dir. Renny Harlin, Heron Communications/Smart Egg Pictures

Now we move into the realm of the slasher and diminishing returns. When we last saw Mr. Kruger, he had been slain by the surviving Dream Warriors. So he must be dead and the world safe, right?

Horror Countdown 2016: X the Unknown (1956)

X the Unknown (1956) dir. Leslie Norman/Joseph Losey, Hammer Film Productions

With the success of Quatermass, it would only make since to make a sequel, which Hammer did...but not just yet. Rushing another film with similar themes into theaters, could Hammer strike twice?

Horror Countdown 2016: Hysteria (1965)

Hysteria (1965) dir. Freddie Francis, Hammer Films

And now we move back into the realm of the traditional thriller, something Hammer had a flair for.

Horror Countdown 2016: Nightmare (1964)

Nightmare (1964) dir. Freddie Francis, Hammer Films

Also known as That's the Knife, Dear-Now Use It! Hammer was in full swing during the 60's and crafting works that didn't involve vampires or crumbling old castles.

Horror Countdown 2016: The Shadow of the Cat (1961)

The Shadow of the Cat (1961) dir. John Gilling, Hammer Film Productions

Moving into the thriller genre and away from the ghouls and vamps, we find the 1961 Hammer classic the Shadow of the Cat.

Horror Countdown 2016: Blood from the Mummy's Tomb (1971)

Blood from the Mummy's Tomb (1971) dir. Seth Holt, EMI-Elstree/Hammer Film Productions

The times were changing in the horror world, and Hammer was trying to catch up. Despite being on the cutting edge in the 50's, the late 60's and early 70's were not kind to the studio. The final Mummy film proved to be almost as cursed as its subject matter.

Horror Countdown 2016: Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)

Frankenstein Created Woman (1967) dir. Terrence Fischer, Hammer Film Productions

With Frankenstein's lab going up in smoke with his Monster in the last film, how could the dear doctor continue his work? By going back to what worked mostly.

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: Cousin Trebor

Real name: Robert Shive
Years active: 1963-1965

And we end 2016's Horror Host with Cousin Trebor. Hosting Way Out on WCIA Channel 3 in Champaign, that seems to be all the information I could find.  Judging from the picture, I'm guessing an axe maniac? Maybe not the best note to go out on, but those are the breaks. Sometimes you find reels of tape and sometime all I find is a TV listing.

Horror Countdown 2016: Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968)

Dracula Has Risen from the Grave (1968) dir. Freddie Francis, Hammer Films

A Freddie Francis helmed Dracula film with Christopher Lee? Surely it would be a simple stroll in the park with an end result of a pretty watchable film, right?

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: Dr. Ygor

Real name: Gene King
Years active: 1963-1965




One of the lost hosts of the Plain State. The good doctor was the host of Chiller Theatre for two years in Moline on WQAD, but that seems to be all the info I could find. He left after two years to play Jungle Jay, hosting various jungle movies. There was also a Dr. Ygor who played in the Denver markets, but I was unable to find a date or even a channel...or even if they are the same person. 

That seems to be all I can find.

Horror Countdown 2016: The Frozen Ghost (1945)

The Frozen Ghost (1945) dir. Harold Young, Universal Pictures

Some background might be needed on this one. The Inner Sanctum series was an oddity for Universal. Beginning as a paperback series back in the 1930's, the series made the jump to radio in 1941, where it would run until 1952. Hosted by the unseen and sardonic Raymond, the show had horror and mystery aplenty.

In 1943 Universal bought the rights and made a series of films, each of them featuring Lon Chaney, Jr. They were small thrillers, but each one was a showcase of Universal stock players.

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: The Creature

Real name: Marty McNeely
Years active: 1970-late 70's





Another unusual host; so far we've seen salesmen, heads, and the usual stock but this is another first. The Creature was simply a still of Lon Chaney, Sr. taken from the film London After Midnight. The voice was provided by announcer Marty McNeely. Airing on WGN channel 9, this version of Creature Features had the Universal features package. The Creature would sign off with a poem based on the film

Horror Countdown 2016: Invisible Agent (1942)

Invisible Agent (1942) dir. Edward L. Marin, Universal Pictures

In the early 40's there was a war on, so why not send the Universal Monster to fight?

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: Count Gregula

Real name: Greg Peterson
Years active: 2005-present

One of the newer hosts, and I have to say of all the hosts out there Count Gregula seems to be the most active on social media. Not many hosts have a Tumblr, Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter. He seemed to have gotten his start working the horror convention circuit before moving into other types of media.

Debuting on Comcast Channel 99, he appeared in Chicago and various points of Indiana and Michigan, although the actual broadcast seems to be a little sporadic. His online presence is far more reliable and accessible.

Website

Horror Countdown 2016: The Mummy's Ghost (1944)

The Mummy's Ghost (1944), dir. Reginald Le Borg, Universal Pictures

While Universal monsters were moving into different directions, there were still some bumps in the road. The Mummy series was a large bump.

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: Milton

Real name: Milton Budd
Years active: 1958-1960's.

We've seen scientists, vampires, and salesmen, but I've never seen a giant head. Yes, Milton of Nightmare Theater was simply Milton Budd sitting with a close up of his face. No body, but occasionally a hand would pop up.

Broadcasting out of Peoria, IL on WMBD-TV, Nightmare was one of the many shows that had the Universal movie bundle, but sadly there doesn't seem to be any surviving footage.

Horror Countdown 2016: Son of Dracula (1943)

Son of Dracula (1943), dir. Robert Sidomak, Universal Pictures

Could Dracula (and vampires in general) have what it takes to seem scary to a 1940's audience?

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: Chuck Acri

Real name: Chuck Acri
Years active: 1968-present

Certainly one of the stranger hosts I've seen. I've seen mad scientists, mad barons, demons, witches, vampires of all stripes, but an aluminum siding salesman is a unique figure. Starting out in Moline and Peoria in 1968, the Acri Creature Feature was a smash hit. Acri sold his wares during the day and in between  only the finest B-movies. He was the perpetual straight man, surrounded by a horde of zany characters like vampire Vincent Hedges.

He was also one of the few old school hosts to appear in different markets at the same time, appearing in the Quad Cities markets well into the 1970's. In 2005 KLJB in Davenport, Iowa brought the show back for a new generation.

Acri Aluminum Siding

Horror Countdown 2016: The Ghost of Franeknstein (1942)

The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942), dir. Erle C. Kenton, Universal Pictures

By the 1940's the Universal Horror films were starting their slow decline from the A List to the B List. In case you missed the previous one, the Frankenstein family had left the scenic mountain village that bore their name, giving the castle and it's lands to the people after the Monster had plunged into a bubbling sulfur pit.

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: Dr. Fright

Real name: Lost to the sand of digital time
Years active: 2002-unknown

Coming live from Public Access Channel 22 in Central Illinois, Creepy Theater seemed promising. There are scores of mad scientists across the country, but Dr. Fight at least had a co-host named Shadowgoblin, who I assume was a goblin of some sort. Aside from that, there doesn't seem to be anything else on this particular hosts, not even a website or name.

Horror Countdown 2016: The Black Cat (1941)

The Black Cat (1941) dir. Albert S. Rogell, Universal Pictures

Moving into the 1940's, the horror genre was changing. Murder mysteries were still in vogue, but this has even less to do with Poe's short story than the 1930's version.

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: Undead Johnny

Real name: Scratched out on his tombstone
Years active: 2004-present

Debuting on Comcast Channel 19 in Chicago, Undead Johnny has been hosting the classic and not so classic films on the World of the Weird Monster Show. The show seems to be mostly online, but it is based out of Illinois, so he does count.

Website

Horror Countdown 2016: Tower of London (1939)

Tower of London (1939) dir. Rowland V. Lee, Universal Pictures

We're getting classier here, as we take a look at one of the first films based on Richard III. Not directly inspired by Shakespeare's work, this is still a one of the earlier examples of horror mixed with another genre. Censor boards were still leery of the whole 'horror' thing, so it was necessary to add elements of something else. In this case, English history.

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: Blood E. Murder

Real name: Barry Batia
Years active: 1998-present

From E-gor's Chamber of TV Horror Hosts

From Chicago we have another host. Blood E. Murder brought us American Nightmares from the Chicago Access Network. I'm unable to find when the show ended, but it appears old Blood E went to YouTube about four years ago. The last update was 2015 though, so I'm not sure if he is still in the game or not.

YouTube

Horror Countdown 2016: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920) dir. J. Charles Haydon, Pioneer Film Corporation

By this point the strange case of Jekyll and Hyde was well known. There would be one last version of the story made in 1920, but the Head of Janus is sadly lost. With John Barrymore having made his take on the character already, Louis Meyer (no relation to Louis B. Mayer) no doubt figured the public wouldn't mind another version of the characters.

Horror Host 2016 Retrospective: The Bone Jangler

Real name: Unknown
Years active: 2001-present

And We're back for the weird and wild folks who host the spooky and kooky. Looking at the Land of Lincoln, we begin 2016 with the Bone Jangler.


Hosting the Bone Jangler on various Chicago and neighboring area stations, the nearly immortal host, along with his ever present companion Nocturna the Queen of the Night, oversees tales of terror. His larger than life persona overshadows most of the films, but given some of the things that crawl on celluloid isn't that something to be proud of? He's one of the few host still on the air, so next time you're in Aurora check him out.

Official site

Castle Freak (1995)

Castle Freak (1995) dir. Stuart Gordon, Full Moon Enterprises/Full Moon Entertainment

And now we near the end of the Summer of Love (craft) 2, and what better way to cap the summer off than with a Stuart Gordon film staring Jeffery Combs?

Witch Hunt (1994)

Witch Hunt (1994) dir. Paul Schrader, Home Box Office/Pacific Western

When Dennis Hopper says something is weird, you know you are in for a treat.

With that said, it is odd they would take so long to do a sequel to Cast a Deadly Spell (and with missing almost all the cast), but I think the end result was a worthy follow up.

The Lurking Fear (1994)

The Lurking Fear (1994) dir. C. Courtney Joyner, Full Moon Entertainment

Surprised it took this long to get to Charles Band's Full Moon group. Lovecraft's stories did inspire quite a few Full Moon flicks, but not as many as you would think. This being the second take on the story "the Lurking Fear", could Band and his merry group do better than the ultra low budget Dark Heritage?

Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1994)

Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1994) dir. Brian Yuzna, Christophe Gans, Shusuke Kaneko, Davis-Films

Given how many of Lovecraft's stories were short, I'm surprised there weren't more anthologies of the man's work. Coupled with Yuzna and a returning Jeffery Combs, one would expect something along the lines of Re-Animator. Did they succeed?

In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

In the Mouth of Madness (1994) dir. John Carpenter, New Line Cinema

John Carpenter might one of the few directors who could come close to capturing Lovecraft's style on film. Guillermo Del Toro comes a pretty close second though. Carpenter did do Providence's Favorite Son justice by capturing the sheer horror of living in a chaotic universe, and did so in a way that best ended his "things are bad and are just getting worse" trilogy.

The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter (1992)

The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter (1992) dir. Jean-Paul Ouellette, the Unnamable Production Co./Yankee Classic Pictures.

As the 1990's got underway, Lovecraft's stories continued. Jean-Paul Ouellette took up the task once more, this time doing a sequel to the 1988 the Unnamable, this time focusing on a proper Randolph Carter, namely the 1919 short story "the Statement of Randolph Carter".

The Resurrected (1991)

The Resurrected (1991) dir. Dan O'Bannon,  Scotti Brothers Pictures/Borde/Raich/Euro Brothers Pictures

By now Lovecraft was more or less established, although most of the film adaptations changed the story (unseen horror beyond the keen of the mind can be rather hard to film), so it shouldn't come as a surprise when they decide to remake one of the older films. The Resurrected took the Strange Case of Charles Dexter Ward in a different direction. Did it do it better than the Haunted Palace?

Cast a Deadly Spell (1991)

Cast a Deadly Spell (1991) dir. Martin Campbell,  Home Box Office/Pacific Western

With the 1990's officially underway, things were changing. Hair metal was giving way to grunge, science fiction shows were popping up like rabbits on the syndication markets, and Home Box Office was starting to make shows as well as airing movies. They had already struck gold with horror anthologies and kid's programs, but how would they handle the work of Lovecraft?

Bride of Re-Animator (1990)

Bride of Re-Animator (1990) dir. Brian Yuzna,  Wildstreet Pictures

With the 80's finally dead, how would the 90's welcome Lovecraft? Brian Yuzna, producer of the first

Herbert West tale, would take over as director. Yuzna was no stranger to the director's chair by this point, having the film Society under his belt by this point.

Dark Heritage (1989)

Dark Heritage (1989) dir. David McCormick,  Cornerstone Films/Sterling Pictures

As the 80's wore on, Lovecraft's works had managed to earn a tidy niche in the horror market. "The Lurking Fear" was one of his longer stories, but there had no attempt to adapt it to the screen....until 1989. The story of strange horrors lurking in the Catskills had plenty of Lovecraft's New England horror and strange beings crawling into our world.

The Unnamable (1988)

The Unnamable (1988) dir. Jean-Paul Ouellette,  K.P. Productions/Yankee Classic Pictures

The Summer of Love(craft) continues. As the 1980's moved on, the success of the Re-Animator series brought Lovecraft back into the forefront of the viewing public. Going with one of Lovecraft's lesser known short stories, the Unnamable had Lovecraft's occasional hero Randolph Carter having a weird encounter in your typical New England graveyard.