Diary of the Dead (2007), dir. George R. Romero, Artfire Films/Romero-Grunwald Productions
Another zombie film and a new one from the Master himself? There are sayings about sequels and wells children, and one should be mindful of both...
There are increasing reports of people being attacked by their loved ones, but our heroes more or less ignore all that. They are shooting a horror movie you see. Along with their faculty advisor, Professor Maxwell (Scott Wentworth), our cast is shooting a zombie picture. Their cinematic adventure is going to have to wait, as news reports of civil unrest and mass rioting have now become too close to ignore. Two of the crew, Ridley (Phillip Riccio) and Francine (Megan Park) quit on the spot and rush to the safety of Ridley's parents, who live in a good seized mansion.
The project's director, Jason (Joshua Close), decides to mount a rescue of his girlfriend Debra (Michelle Morgan), whom he last saw on the school's campus. They find her, but she can't connect with her family, so off they go to Scranton.
Mary (Tatiana Maslany) is driving the RV but runs over several clearly undead people in the road. Thanks to the hysterics of some of the crew, Mary is convinced she is a murder and shoots herself in order to atone. They head to the nearest hospital, where it is clear this isn't just people rioting. Nope, seems Hell is full and the dead are roaming freely.
Mary dies then comes back, but Maxwell puts her down for good. Crewman Gordo (Chris Violette) is bitten and killed, forcing his girlfriend Tracey (Amy Lalonde) to put him down also. Their fuel line breaks in the country but SAMUEL (R.D. Reid) to the rescue!
Who is Samuel? Only the single most badass Amish farmer in film. With scythe and dynamite alone he clears a path, all while communication on a chalkboard. Sadly he's much to cool to last, but he goes out in style, shoving his trusty scythe through his own head in order to kill a zombie.
Debra finally hears from her family. Seems they opted to go camping, but they should be home by now. When our crew gets there, they find her mother and brother devouring her father. Maxwell takes them down via bow and arrows. As they leave, they run into some National Guardsmen, who proceed to rob them and drive off. I wonder if we'll ever see them again?
Remember Ridley and Francine? Yeah, the crew remembers them too and heads towards Ridely's house. Everyone is dead Debra, all save Ridley but don't worry, he made sure to properly dispose of all the zombies...and by 'dispose' you mean dumped them in an easily escapable swimming pool then you would be right.
Debra starts to ask if humanity is really worth saving and at this point I have to agree. Bleak and underwhelming; the idea of a zombie apocalypse is a neat idea but there has to be people behind the cameras for us to feel. I'm a bit shocked the man behind Night, Dawn, and Day (and to a lesser extent Land) could miss the mark so badly. The social commentary is so heavy handed, it feels like someone trying to homage Romero instead of the man himself.
The characters are largely interchangeable and unlikable. If I can't care what happens to this people, why should you? The blogger idea is brought up but so barely mentioned you wonder what the point is? Jason filming everything is neat but is grows weary and even the characters get sick of it. Mayhe Mr. Romero should have let someone else take the reins for this one? Disappointing and with the pedigree attached that makes it all the sadder.
Heck of way to end 2025 but at this point is that surprising? Maybe next year will be spookier and less depressing.
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