Re-write the book: Ludvig Borga

While things rot apart around me and help seems more distant than ever, why not take a look at a WWF midcarder and see what I would have done differently?




First, I'm not sure I'd go with Tony Halme. Only scuttlebutt and internet rumor but Halme didn't seem like a good fit for the WWF locker room. Or anywhere for that matter, so let's focus on the character.

An evil Finnish environmentalist

We're supposed to care about this? Evil foreign heels are a classic part of wrestling. Stereotypical and often offensive, but if handled properly you can still get some good heat.

Ok, he's Finnish. The problem here is that Finland doesn't exactly have the most dominant stereotypes or pop culture imprint, at least in the States. What to do?

First, we'd see some vignettes of Borga just beating the tar out of some jobbers. At the end of the match, there'd be a graphic like "Finland-3, Germany-0" which would continue until Borga has apparently beaten a wrestler from every country in Europe.

Borga, dressed in jeans and a pea-jacket, looks at the camera. "'World Wrestling Federation'? Yet you don't have the finest wrestler in all of Europe. Undefeated for five years, yet you never ask me to join. Well, I'm coming to your teeming shores America, and I'll take what I want!"

From there Jack Tunney would finally introduce Borga at SummerSlam '93 and would introduce him as the WWF European Champion (with belt).

Borga would defend the belt, ending Tatanka's undefeated streak in a title match. He would get a manager (Mr. Fuji), who would then boast of his Euro-Asian Connection. I figure he would finally drop the title to Lex Luger before moving into a feud with a returning Davey Boy Smith.

I figure the belt would float around before being retired. Smith would win it in 1997 when it gets brought back.