Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Horror Countdown 2018: Creepshow (1982)

Creepshow (1982) dir. George Romero, Laurel Entertainment





And we end this Halloween with an anthology from Stephan King and George Romero. Not sure if I can elaborate more on that.



Billy (Joe King) is your pretty normal kid. He likes horror and comic books, especially his favorite Creepshow, hosted by the titular Creep. His father (Tom Atkins) on the other hand, doesn't care for that horror crap and makes his intention known with a few healthy backhands and a crumpled comic into the trash.

That's when the Creep appears at the young lad's window and going along with him we see the tales that Billy was unable to read...

"Father's Day" is our first offering. The Grantham family is having their annual Father's Day celebration at the sprawling family estate. The patriarch of the clan of rich lay-abouts was Nathan (Jon Lormer), who was as miserable a bastard as one could find. He died at the hands of his oldest and most abused daughter Bedelia (Viveca Lindfors) plus a marble ashtray after he had her beau meet with a 'hunting accident'.

The family has gathered at the mansion while Bedelia observes her annual tradition of getting drunk at her father's gravesite. This year promises to be different, however, as Nathan claws his way out and he wants his Father's Day cake...

Next we have "the Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill". Jordy (Stephan King) is your typical New England redneck eking out a living at his ramshackle farm. Everything seems fine until a meteor crashes on his property. His attempts to move the outer space rock result in it breaking in two. Disappointed, Jordy heads back inside to watch some wrestling, unaware of the blue liquid seeping into the ground, producing thick vegetation over everything it touched...including your typical New England redneck...

"Something to Tide You Over" is bit more straight forward. Harry Wentworth (Ted Danson) is a beach bum/gigolo. Richard Vickers (Leslie Nielsen) knows this, because Harry's latest conquest is his wife, Becky (Gaylen Ross). Richard isn't angry though. No, he doesn't get angry. He gets even. Taking Harry at gunpoint, Richard makes him dig a hole at a secluded beach near Richard's house. The tide's coming in but Richard is fair. If Harry can hold his breath and not panic he just might get himself free. Becky may not be so lucky though. He had her dig her own hole sometime before. He puts a tv monitor in front of Harry so he can watch her struggle. Richard retires to his spacious house, coming out the next day to see the tv cable neatly severed. He calls it a day, but what about those soggy footsteps coming up the walkway?

"The Crate" focuses on the titular crate. Mike the janitor (Don Keefer) is working his trade when he finds a crate marked Artic expedition 1834 under a staircase at the college where he works. He summons professor Dexter Stanley (Fritz Weaver), who's at party being hosted by his best friend professor Harry Northup (Hal Holbrook). Northrup has his own problems though, evidenced by his wife Wilma (Adrienne Barbeau). Call her Bille, everyone does. They also call her several other things too when her back is turned.

Stanley leaves, but when he and Mike try to open the crate they get a nasty surprise. It seems that whatever is in the crate is still very much alive and quite hungry. It chows down on Mike while Stanley flees. On his way out, Stanley runs into his grad student Charlie (Robert Harper). Charlie sees this as a scientific challenge and tries to measure the bite marks. He gets devoured as Stanley rushes to Northup. Harry gives a sympathetic ear, but instead of horror he sees the best way to get Wilma out of his life for good...

"They're Creeping Up on You" tells the story of Upson Pratt (E.G. Marshall). A ruthless businessman; who delights in driving his rivals to suicide, lives his life in a hermetically sealed apartment. Yup, free from all the germs that plague the lower classes. Pity that the thousands of cockroaches that are creeping around him don't care about net worth...

Easily the best thing Romero did during the 80's. Every tale is a perfect capsule that could have been taken straight from EC Comics. Some parts are better than others; Stephan King should stay behind the camera but Leslie Neilson almost steals the entire show as Richard. The whole thing stands out thanks to the creators behind it and it is all the better for them.


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