Resident Evil, or why I don't write for a living

Well, since we'll have some time before the time of the dead those who host, why not take another stab at a film series that has always bothered me.

Video game movies have been around for a while, but while comic book films may have some similarity with the source material, video game films might be lucky if the main characters even have the same name.

Resident Evil at a glance should have been a slam dunk film. Zombies attack, heroes fight, hell, you even had George A. Romero doing the script...so naturally they dumped all that nonsense for Paul W. Anderson's wife showing up everyone and ending with a set up for a sequel. My take would be a be bit different.



Raccoon City is pretty much your average middle sized city. Most of the jobs are centered around the Umbrella Corp., which employs 80% of the town in one way or another. All in all, a success to civic planning and loosened regulations.

So when the murders start, people get worried. A few hikers vanish, then campsites are found bloody and torn apart. The press and police blame bears. Rangers are sent out...and never come back. Trying to keep a lid on the growing unease, the mayor sends for STARS (Special Tactics And Rescue Service), an elite team of specialists, to solve the mystery.

The famed Bravo Team is called and soon they're flying out into the mountains that surround the city.

Roll call:
Edward Dewey (Matt Damon): pilot
Richard Aiken (Dolph Lundgren): radio man
Kenneth J. Sullivan (Tony Todd): Point man
Forest Speyer (Robert Patrick): sniper
Rebecca Chambers (Michelle Baur): medic
Enrico Marini (Danny Trejo): team leader

All tough, experienced and soon MIA as they lose radio contact, with the last message a garbled mess about monsters. So they put out the call for Alpha Team:

Albert Wesker (Bruce Payne): team leader
Chris Redfield (Bruce Campbell): sniper
Joseph Frost (Robert Davi): mechanic
Jill Valentine (Michelle Rodriguez): security
Barry Burton (Will Patton): weapons
Brad Vickers (Ben Affleck): pilot

They land near Bravo's last known position, which looks like a warzone. While investigating, Frost gets torn apart by a hideous dog. Vickers freaks out and flies away, stranding the rest of the team. Wesker orders a full retreat through the woods.

They stumble upon the Spencer Mansion, which Wesker seems to known an awful lot about. He orders the team to stay put while he scouts ahead. Redfield splits when he hears a noise and gets separated from Burton and Valentine. He finds Sullivan or what's left of him....

From there the trio hunts through the mansion, finding traps and monsters aplenty. Is there a traitor on the team? What sinister secrets does the mansion hold?

From there, more or less the same as the first game. Wesker's a traitor, Burton's being blackmailed, zombies attack and we're treated to the sheer terror that is Tyrant.