Smokey and the Bandit Part 3: Or Why I Don't Write for a Living

 Might as well end the trilogy. 

Aroma of Troma: Class of Nuke 'Em High 3: The Good, the Bad, and the Subhumanoid (1994)

Class of Nuke 'Em High 3: The Good, the Bad, and the Subhumanoid (1994), dir. Eric Louzil, Troma Entertainment 

Ending this month, well, I'm hesitant to say with a bang but it's an ending. Sometimes that's enough.

Aroma of Troma: The Toxic Avenger III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)

The Toxic Avenger III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989), dir. Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz, Troma Entertainment 

Nearing the end, and the last Toxie film for a good while. 

Since the last film, the Toxic Avenger (John Altamura and Ron Fazio) has been in a funk. Sure, he finally found his real dad, but Apocalypse Inc. is still running wild. Toxie tries to find a real job, but he strikes out, plus his girlfriend Claire (Phobe Legere) is still blind. 

There's hope for that last one though, as a doctor swears he can perform an operation that would cure her. All he needs is $347,000.

Despondent, Toxie is at the end of his rope when the Chairman (Rick Collins) offers Toxie a job as a spokesman for Apocalypse Inc. Desperate, Toxie takes the job and son becames...a yuppie!

Toxie has a dark night of soul but when he sees the kids of Tromaville kicking his poster, well, that was the fire Toxie needed! He goes and finds a group of Apocalypse thugs menacing a video store. He swiftly kills them all and sets his sights on the Chairman. 

Will Toxie stop the evil corporation in time? Will Claire be cured? What are the Five Levels of Doom?

Yeah, if part 2 didn't set your soul on fire, this one would put it out. It feels more like they took the last twenty minutes from the last film and released it, yet it feels every bit of its running time. Just loud and dumb and not in a good way. 

Aroma of Troma: Chillers (1987)

Chillers (1987), dir. Danny Boyd, Troma Entertainment 

Honestly this one flew under my radar until pretty recently. 

A group of different folks are mulling around in a rundown bus station late at night. Their bus is running late, so to pass the time they sit around talk and some weird dreams they have been having. 

A woman tells of her hobby of swimming. She's noticed one particular swimmer who catches her eye, but what secret is he hiding?

A young boy (who really shouldn't be out by himself at night), recalls a camping trip he went on. The rest of the campers were your typical 80's stock characters, and then there's the scoutmaster (Gary Brown). He's a dorky kind of guy, but he seems to know the woods. He also seems rather fixated on the full moon, which is rising...

Another woman dreams nightly of her local anchor man. Odd that he only ever seems to work the late shift, isn't it?

A man chats about his dream next, in which he discovers he can bring the dead back to life, but only if he reads about them first. Pity he was reading about the recently executed mass murderer...

The last yarn is told by an old man. He's a teacher by trade and his dreams feature his students and why one should not read ancient texts without proper supervision. 

Earnest but lord. The characters don't even qualify as flat, as that implies that they have some dimension. Cliched in all the worst ways.

Aroma of Troma: Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)

Surf Nazis Must Die (1987), dir. Peter George, Troma Entertainment/the Institute 

Somewhat odd, as half the sources I've checked swear this film was only distributed by Troma, where the other half swears they made it, so I decided to include it anyway, because with a title like this it must be great, right?

Aroma of Troma: Hollywood Zap (1986)

Hollywood Zap (1986) dir. David Cohen, Ben/Bar Prods./Protovision Prods./Troma Entertainment 

Our first film this year not directed by Misters Kaufman or Herz. Odd, that about sums it up.

Tucker "Downer" Downs (Ivan Roth) works in a women's clothing shop. He's bored and has no direction in life. Figuring he'd head west and maybe search for his old man, he quickly hooks up with Nash (Ben Frank). Nash is a wild card with a talent for hustling folks in arcades. 

Very punk, both in the story and visuals. 

Aroma of Troma: The First Turn-On!! (1983)

The First Turn-On!! (1983), dirs. Lloyd Kaufman, Michael Herz, Troma Entertaiment/Grande Company

If you got to go, why not go out with a bang? Yeah, this would be the last of the teen sex comedies that Troma would do. Is it a grande finale?

Aroma of Troma: Stuck on You! (1983)

Stuck on You! (1983), dir. Michael Herz/Lloyd Kaufman, Troma Entertainment 

Bringing this one back. At this point in time Troma was still in the sex comedy phase of their history. 

Bill (Mark Mikulski) and Carol (Virgina Penta) used to be in love. Now they are in palimony court, arguing before Judge Gabriel (Prof. Irwin Corey). The judge hates to see love's flame go out, so he proceeds to regal the couple and the court with tales of lovers from across history. 

Not horrible; the jokes hit a good portion of the time even if they are just an excuse to show people in the all-together.

The Real Ghostbusters: The Collect Call of Cathulhu

" The Collect Call of Cathulhu", the Real Ghostbusters, October 21, 1987

A bit late, but the Summer of Love(craft) isn't totally finished. Ghostbusters and Lovecraft, hard to believe this would be the only use of Lovecraft's work on the show. 

The Necronomicon has been stolen! This is rather bad, as Egon explains. The guys quickly run into the Spawn of Cathulhu and barely escape with the lives, Peter losing a boot in the process. 

They mange to run into Professor Alice Derleth, who agrees to help the guys stop the Cult of Cathulhu from raising their unholy god. Can they stop the monster from the undying depths?

If you got to go, why not go out with the bang? Yeah, this might have been the first thing I ever watched of the Old Ones, even if I didn't get the references the first time round.

 

Smokey and the Bandit II: or Why I don't Write for a Living

 Having finally got the chance to see the first Smokey and the Bandit on the big screen, I was brought to mind of the two sequels and how disappointing I found them. Well, you ask, what would I do if I had the ear of Hal Needham?