Saturday, January 26, 2019

Doom, or why I don't write for movies

Like most of you, I was a bit disappointed with 2005's Doom. What would I have done differently?



In the far future, mankind has spread across the stars. On Mars lies a remote research station, officially dedicated to toxic waste storage, but actually devoted to developing teleportation. A garbled message is sent out, mostly static but also screams. The moon Deimos disappears too.

The Marines are sent in, lead by the Sarge (the Rock). They find nothing, save for a few dismembered staff. After a few zombie encounters, they find Dr. Samantha Grimm one of the researchers. She's a bit cool to the Sarge, her twin brother "Reaper" served in his unit and didn't make it back.

The scientists managed to make the teleportation work, but they opened a door to hell. The forces of Hell, seeing it as being rude not accept the invite, flooded the compound and are busy setting up shop.

Dr. Grimm is also seeing her brother among the dead, but let's focus on the giant demons rampaging underground. The Sarge's squad gets slaughtered, but the Sarge manages to find Bio-Fusion Generator 9000 (BFG) and that evens things up quite a bit.

Sarge faces down Reaper, who turns into a giant Spider Mastermind, which Sarge manages to kill. Of course, the tech is already there and the door was opened for a while. When Sarge radios Earth for pickup, all he sees is cities burning.

Powering up the BFG, the Sarge readies a look at the camera and tells the forces of Hell to bring it.

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