Fourteen years after Kull came and went, another attempt was made. This time it was decreed that the original flavor was what the public wanted, so it was decided that it would be Conan's sandal-ed feet to stride across the celluloid map. New star, new director, and a wholly new approach. What could possibly go wrong?
We begin at the very beginning. A narrator (Morgan Freeman) tells us of the Mask of Acheron. It's a great and terrible weapon, capable of almost any feat. Wars are waged and scores of people die, but in the end the mask is captured by the barbarian tribes of the north and broken into pieces for each tribe. During a particularly bloody battle, a barbarian woman is wounded and dies, but not before giving birth. Her husband, Corin (Ron Perlman) holds his son to heavens and names him Conan.
Some years later Conan (Leo Howard) is now a boy. Corin is against him starting warrior training, but Conan proves to be rather apt at fighting and occasionally killing. His developing skills still fail him though when Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang) and his forces attack. Corin is tortured and dies before Conan's eyes. The mask fragment is found and Khalar leaves, but not before slaughtering the rest of the village. Conan swears revenge.
Now adult, Conan (Jason Momoa) is working mostly as a pirate, as revenge doesn't pay all that well. He does the occasional good deed though, as evidenced by his killing of a slaver party. While partying in Messantia, he sees the thief Ela-Shan (Said Taghmaoui) being chased by a member of Khalar's war party. Letting himself be captured, he quickly confronts Lucius (Steven O'Donnell) and wrings some info regarding his old boss's whereabouts. It seems in the ensuring years, Khalar has switched his obsession for ancient masks to current priestesses. Specifically, a descendant of the old priests of Acheron. It seems the mask is worthless without the pure spilled blood. Conan thanks Lucius for the info, i.e. throws him to his prisoners.
He's a bit too late with the info as Khalar and his forces are already at the monastery and have killed most of the inhabitants. His daughter Marique (Rose McGowan) helps tell the difference between truths and falsehoods by killing everyone she sees. Tamara (Rachael Nichols), a priestess, manages to flee.
Conan saves her and captures Khalar's man Remo, who gives Conan all the info he needs as long as he promises to let him go. Conan does, although he decides to return Remo in the quickest way possible, namely via catapult. From there it's a race against time as Conan must keep Tamara safe and find a way to stop Khalar's plans.
Better than Kull, although that is damning with some pretty faint praise. Momoa is leagues better than Arnold as an actor, and behaves/looks more like the Conan as described by Howard. The script, however, does him no favors. The CGI is a bit overdone, and the violence rushed through. Conan hacks and slashes through scores of people, yet there is nothing behind it. When Arnold ducked an over-sized sledge hammer, you could almost feel the weight as it crushed a pillar. Here, the sword slashes and fire all seem like afterthoughts. The Bulgarian sets look cheap and not half as convincing as the Spanish countryside.
There would be one more attempt at a Howard character for the big screen, and that is a tale that shall soon be told.
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