Plan 9 from Outer
Space (1959), dir. Ed Wood, Reynolds Pictures
We’ve come to the end of another year my friends. One last
story before the campfire ebbs and we put away the ghouls and ghosts for
another time. And we’ll be ending 2014 on another high note, yes, as we look
back at what has been called the worst movie ever made, Ed Wood’s magnum opus,
Plan 9 from Outer Space.
We open at a small graveside gathering. There are only a few
mourners, most notably an old man (Bela Lugosi). The scene is shot rather
nicely, with Bela uttering no dialogue but still emoting the hell out of the
scene as a man consumed by grief. Had the rest of the film stayed like this, it
might have had a better reputation. Sadly it doesn’t, as two comic relief
gravediggers mug for the camera at a cheap flying saucer effect before they are
killed by the man’s newly risen wife (Malia Nurmi, AKA horror host Vampira).
The old man himself dies a few days later, and is buried in
a shabby crypt. Like his wife, he is brought back and kills. By this point the
matter is turned over to the police, led by Inspector Clay (Tor Johnson). Clay
leads a team consisting of Detective Lt. John Harper (Duke Moore), and officers
Kelton (Paul Marco) and Donaldson (Mark Anthony) into the graveyard to investigate.
As this goes on, it seems all of California has been seeing
UFO’s. Pilot Jeff Trent (Gregory Walcott) spotted one from his cockpit. When
greeted by Air Force officials on the ground, Trent is ordered under no
circumstances should he be telling anyone what he saw. Trent tells his wife,
Paula (Mona McKinnon), and no sooner has he finished then an actual UFO lands
close enough to knock them both down.
The recently deceased rise from their graves; including the
old man (now played by Tom Mason), and converge on the craft. Clay, separated
from his men, is attacked and killed by the ghouls.
When a fleet of UFOs buzzes Washington, the military
responds. Colonel Tom Edwards (Tom Keene) is part of the group called in to
respond. His men fire all weapons, but they don’t seem to have much effect. The
UFOs retreat all the same though. Edwards is ordered to California to try and
figure out why the aliens are doing what they’re doing.
We find that out at an orbiting space station. Eros (Dudley
Manlove) and his second-in-command Tanna (Joanna Lee) report in to their
world’s leader (John Breckenridge). It seems that previous attempts to
communicate with Earth’s leaders have failed. Now Eros wishes to continue with
Plan 9, i.e. the resurrection of the recently dead as a show of force. Returning
to Earth, Eros plans to make the Earth authorities listen to him.
After Edwards, Trent, and Harper make their way onto the
ship, Eros explains why the aliens are so desperate to communicate. It seems
that Earthlings have the rather bad habit of creating more destructive weapons
before they are mature enough to handle them. The Earth’s progression with
bombs has mirrored Eros’s people, except for the alien's maturity;
Eros’s tendency to scream about our “stupid minds” notwithstanding. Eros’s
people believe that the next bomb we develop will be the solarmanite bomb,
which could explode light itself. Eros’s
people don’t want that and wish our leaders to cool down. The humans attack
and blow up the ship.
Ed Wood has been the poster boy for bad movies and it is
easy to see why. From the stilted dialogue, the cardboard tombstones, and the
fact that Tom Mason had a good foot on and fifty less years than Bela Lugosi, Plan 9 from Outer Space may be Wood’s
best remembered work. The story itself isn’t terrible, although it certainly
isn’t very good. More of a rehash of the
Day the Earth Stood Still, the idea of aliens being worried about our wars
spilling over into space is an interesting idea, although note the film doesn’t
even try to answer the questions it puts forth.
So in the end, what was Ed Wood trying to say? Those future
questions will have to be answered by those they affect in the future. Good
night and stay spooky friends.
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