Serving Hard Time-Superstars Profile#62

The Big Boss Man 

Real name: Ray Traylor

Home: Cobb County, GA

Membership: Twin Towers, Superstars, Dungeon of Doom, nWo, the Corporation, Corporate Ministry

A.K.A.: Big Bubba Rogers, War Machine, Big Boss, the Boss, the Man, the Guardian Angel

Finisher: Boss Man Slam

Background: Funny how a badge can cover a multitude of sins. 

Ray Traylor was a correctional officer. Officially a man or honor and courage, although if you asked any of the inmates they would disagree. Not within earshot of the guards, mind you. Last guy that did had a nasty accident.

But being a CO doesn't exactly keep the cabbage coming in, so under the name of Big Bubba, Traylor hired himself out as muscle for some locals toughs. Did pretty well for himself. Word got to Slick, who was very keen for so more muscle. So, for a hefty fee, Traylor put in his two weeks and headed up North. 

Slick found the idea of a cop working for him hysterical, so he insisted that Traylor wear a modified costume based on his old work togs. Thus the Big Boss Man hit the streets. Anyone tangled with Slick found themselves handcuffed and beaten. 

The Big Boss Man even went toe to toe with Hulk Hogan, who slammed the bull through the roof of a cage. After this McMahon stepped in. Boss Man was getting popular, maybe too popular. So he had him leave Slick and join the Superstars. He did alright, fighting with the Mountie and the like but when the government started sniffing after McMahon, Traylor decided a Southern vacation might be for the best and skipped town to Atlanta. He would later rejoin Titan Inc. later, but those tales are recorded elsewhere. 

So Outrageous, So Bodacious-Superstars Profile#61

The Young Stallions 

Real names: James Manley, Paul Centopani

Home: Detroit, MI

Membership: Jim Powers, Paul Roma

A.K.A.: Jumping Jim Powers, N/A

Finisher: Why bother?

Background: A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing

Yeah, that about sums it up. 

 Both men were young, full of beans and vim and had all the personality of a damp gym sock. Powers, dubbed so because while he lacked any superpowers he was meant to get some later, was an alright guy who tried to get along with everyone. Roma, dubbed so because was Vince was eating pizza at the time, was a jerk. 

It was decided that a new team was needed. Vince picked the first two schmucks who happened by and thus the Young Stallions were born! Sent to feel out a possible Superstars expansion in Detroit, they managed to do exactly jack all. 

Sure, they went up against some of the bigger names. Did they win? Nope. Eventually they both decided to leave after a lawsuit from Jimmy Hart took what little money they had.

The First Stooge-Superstars Profile#60

Pat Patterson 

Real name: Pierre Clermont 

Home: Montreal, Quebec, Canada 

Membership: Superstars, Blond Bombers, the Corporation, McMahon-Helmsley Faction 

A.K.A.: Lord Patrick Patterson, Pat Andrews 

Finisher: Atomic Drop

Background: Funny how things work 

Clermont was born in a dirt poor family in the poorest section of Montreal. Growing up, he swore he'd be someone important. So, when he was old enough, he hitchhiked his way to America. He did everything he could, from bareknuckle brawling to long haul trucking but he finally made it to the golden shores. 

From there he changed his name to something a bit more English and set out setting himself up in a comfortable lifestyle. He worked mostly as a leg breaker for various gangs from Portland to Lubbock but after fighting Lars Anderson in '72, he had a change of heart. 

He started to devote his energy to helping people, which got him noticed by Vince McMahon, Sr., who hired he to head up his new news service. In English, he was a genial and polite host, but in French he was a smartmouth who insulted his guests. 

When McMahon, Jr. took over, Patterson was quietly retired in 1984 and kicked up the corporate ladder. He made his big return in the late 90's, but those tales are recounted elsewhere. 

Strongest in the World!-Superstars Profile#59

Hercules 

Real name: Unknown 

Home: Tampa, FL

Membership: The Heenan Family, House of Humperdink, the Assassins, Power & Glory

A.K.A.: Hercules Hernandez, Assassin#2, Mr. Wrestling III, Super Invader, Raymond Fernandez 

Finisher: Full Nelson

Background: God or madman?

A fellow was found wandering around Florida, seemingly with no name or history. He was processed into the system and later discharged. Classy Freddy Blassie, however, saw potential in him. He was like clay, able to be molded to be anything, plus he could bench press a bus. 

Blassie, however, retired soon after training the fellow and sold him to Slick. The Doctor of Style found him too wild to control and soon sold him to the Heenan Family. The Brain had a bit more luck, using him mostly as muscle, although he did have a few fights with Hulk Hogan. He also picked a fight with the Ultimate Warrior, which ended up with the would-be demigod's chain shattering. After that failure, the Brain sold him to Ted DiBiase.

The Million Dollar Man treated him about the same as his former manservant Virgil, which is to say pretty lousy. Hercules declared himself no man's slave and waged war on DiBiase. He had a few pyrrhic victories here and there, but nothing amazing. He founded Power and Glory with Paul Roma but that team ended with a whimper. 

Hercules had one final match with Sid Justice and vanished from the face of the Earth. 

 

Cool, Cocky, and Bad-Superstars Profile#58

The Honky Tonk Man

Real name: Roy Wayne Ferris

Home: Memphis, TN

Membership: The Blond Bombers, First Family, Rhythm & Blues, Superstars 

A.K.A.: Danny Condrey, Honky-Tonk Wayne

Finisher: Shake, Rattle, and Roll

Background: What do you do when the King falls?

Wayne Ferris loved Elvis. The hair, the music, the movies; hell, he even saw Clambake 17 times. He also knew the King's secret battle. He studied the ley lines and he knew Memphis was a crossroads. So, when Elvis started getting old, he figured the man must step down (See HAFF INCIDENT).

He lived Elvis. He breathed Elvis. He thought about Elvis all the time.

'cept on the shitter. That'd be weird. 

So when Elvis picked a part time house painter (and Roy's cousin) instead , well, he didn't let it get him down. No sir; he bucked up, slicked up his hair and made his way to New York City where he made a good first impression on Hulk Hogan and even got onto the team. 

And who knows, he might have even had a decent if unspectacular career but you know what? He was tired. Tired of 'paying dues', tired of shaking sweaty hands and kissing ugly babies. So he made his intent clear and denounced Elvis, Hogan, and whole dang Superstars team before throwing in with Jimmy Hart. 

He made his proper debut attacking Ricky Steamboat and declared himself the new King of Rock N Roll. For the next year he made headlines, always sneaking out wins by hook or crook. He did a pretty good job at being bad, at least until he mouthed off to the Ultimate Warrior. 

One stint in the pokey later, HTM found his prospects dimmed, so much that he had to take on Greg Valentine as a replacement Elvis impersonator. HTM slowed down and tried to act as a manager, much as Jimmy Hart had done for him, but he didn't have the chops. 

He quietly left New York and has been working smaller venues ever since. 

KIWIS!-Superstars Profile#57

The Bushwhackers 

Real names: (B) Robert Miller (L) Brian Wickens 

Home: New Zealand 

Membership: Butch Miller, Luke Williams 

A.K.A.: The Kiwis, the Sheepherders

Finisher: Battering Ram

Background: What the heck happened?

In the 1960s, there were few more feared than Butch Miller and Luke Williams. Dubbing themselves the Kiwis, then later the Sheepherders, the pair were the most violent pair of crooks New Zealand had ever seen. They were feared from Southland to Perth. 

Then they vanished sometime in the mid-80s. Around 1988 the Superstars then added two new members-the Bushwhackers! Consisting of Butch and Luke, no last names. They looked the same, yet they were mostly goofy and used mostly for comedy. 

Were they hiding out? Had they undergone some kind of brain washing? Who knows, but McMahon sold their contract to Jamison for nothing, so he hadn't spent that much money apparently. They left the US after fighting a rouge plumber in 1996, although there have been sporadic sightings everywhere from Puerto Rico to New Jersey.

 

The Cream of the Crop-Superstars Profile#56

The Brain Busters 

Real names: (AA) Martin Lunde (TB) Tully Blanchard 

Home: (AA) Minneapolis, MN (TB) Calgary, Alberta, Canada 

Membership: Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan

A.K.A.: Super Olympia, Midnight Stallion 

Finisher: Spiked piledriver

Background: If you can't get all four, why not settle for two?

The Four Horsemen were probably the most notorious gang to ever come out of the Southeast. Naturally Bobby Heenan wanted them to work for him, but Ole Anderson cussed him out and hung up the phone. 

When Arn and Tully found themselves on the outs with their management, Bobby was there to swoop and offer them double whatever Ric Flair was giving them. One phone call later, the Heenan Family had two new members. 

Their tenure was...ok. Not groundbreaking, and frankly they didn't exactly pop against some of the more colorful Superstars but they did smack around Strike Force, so that has to count for something.