Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull gets a lot of flak, but I personally never saw the point of Temple of Doom. Why make it a prequel? And why make Willie Scott the most irritating character in the film?
So, as an early Christmas gift from me to all of you, what would happen if I could slip back to the early 80's?
1937
Dr. Henry Jones (Harrison Ford) has been busy since his affair with the Ark. Marion (Karen Allen), however, has taken her reward money and split. He considers the affair ended until he gets a telegram. Seems Marion has run into a spot of trouble with her new club and needs help. Whip in hand, Indy heads off to Shanghai and the Club Obi-Wan.
China is bit of a hot spot at the moment. The Second Sino-Japanese War has kicked off and the forces of Imperial Japan are marching westward. Shanghai is posed to be the site of the first major battle proper of the war. Marion is still slinging hooch though, and won't give up her club to an army or to the gangsters led by Lao Che.
The situation is changed by the arrival of Wu Han (Jackie Chan), a rival of Indy's from school. Han's gifted with his hands (and feet, plus anything he finds) and after a brief but spectacular battle, the trio escapes from the burning club. The gangsters are after Indy and Marion, but the Japanese Army, led by Major Togo (Sonny Chiba), seems more concerned about Han.
Fleeing into the countryside, we learn why. Seems Han may have discovered the final resting place of the first emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang. Emperor Huang, according to legend, died while traveling to the nation's capital after ingesting mercury. Han has found evidence that he didn't, but rather vanished into a hidden valley, the entrance being hidden deep under the Great Wall. Along the way they find Short Round (Jonathan Ke Quan), an orphan living in the slums. He helps them escape the search parties in exchange for a percentage.
They find the entrance and find why Huang didn't return-dinosaurs. Yup, Huang found himself the Lost World and carved himself a new empire with T-rexes. Major Togo is keen to take this power back to the Japan. Han want's to keep it in China and Indy wants to take the three massive gemstones that rest in the temple that sits in the heart of the valley.
Turns out Huang (Jet Li) isn't quite dead. Oh, his body is moldy dust, but his spirit is quite kicking (literally, in Togo's case). The end result-GHOST DINOS VS TANKS. He causes an eruption that destroys the valley and our heroes manage to escape in time. Marion decides to head south. She loves Indy, but hanging around him is getting too expensive. Han vows to stay in China and keep up the fight. Indy goes home, Short Round in tow.
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