Re-writting the Book: Xanta Claus

 Woof

Ok, so 1995. In Your House 5: Season's Beatings saw the debut of Xanta Claus. Hailing from the South Pole, Xanta made a point to steal presents from all the good boys and girls. With the Million Dollar Man as his manager, Xanta officially racked up one win on a jobber.

The problems are a bit obvious. A Santa themed wrestler might do well in December, but Feb.? Oct.?

I supposed I would make it clear that Xanta can only work in the month of December. Might even make an angle about it. Like he's unstoppable December 1st through the 25th, but on December 31st he loses to Barry Horowitz. 

Pure comedy but that isn't awful. If you timed him right and with the right scenario, I bet the audience would tolerate him. 

Updates and such

2025-sucking just as much as 2024 did.

Not the best way to open, but here's a slight view of upcoming works.

TFtember (in April): A lookback at the Transformers 

May: Superstars the comic.

June Bugs: Bugs Bunny Rides Again

July: UWF Returns + Shark Week

August: Aroma of Troma 

September: TFtember (more Transformers)

October: Horror hosts and horror reviews 

December: Art jam, but it may lesser than in previous years. 

Bring on the Bad Guys: "Easy" Eddie Edwards

Real name: Eddie Edwards

First appearance: All-Star Comics#6 (August-September 1941)

Abilities: Failure to pick up sarcasm 

Worst act: Attempted murder, counterfeiting

Created by: Gardner Fox (script), Stan Asch (pencils)

And so we end another feature here. 

#6 is a bit notable, as this is where the Flash goes from JSA member to honorary one and Johnny Thunder takes his place. 

The first chapter sets up, but since there's no real villain I opted out of giving that a separate entry. Johnny Thunder is given a chance to join the JSA but he must capture a real arch enemy of justice!

It's a snipe hunt. The 'villain' is an old kook who prints up stories about all the crimes he got away with. Johnny finds him easy enough, but Mr. Edwards takes notice and assumes the old timey nut is the real deal and thus would have a fortune or two squirreled away. 

The JSA set him right. 

Bring on the Bad Guys: The Professor

 Real name: Unrevealed 

First appearance: All-Star Comics#5 (June-July 1941)

Abilities: SCIENCE!

Worst act: Blackmail, assault 

Created by: Gardner Fox (script), Irwin Hasen (pencils)

The Professor is the seventh agent. His mission? Take out the Green Lantern

Well, at least their expectations are a bit more manageable this time. Mr. X, figuring that since Green Lantern controls light, he'll use light to destroy him! He opts to blackmail the city by blowing up some buildings first, just to show them he's serious. 

The Professor shows up and knocks out GL via electricity. Which is quite surprising, as I thought he was only vulnerable to wood. The Professor also manages to make things invisible. GL manages to wake up and remember his ring can do pretty much anything he wants and he takes the Professor and his gang out with zero issue. 

The story wraps up after this and Mr. X gets taken out with minium effort. 

Bring on the Bad Guys: Gang of Gamblers

Real names: Baretti, the rest unrevealed 

First appearance: All-Star Comics#5 (June-July 1941)

Abilities: Gambling 

Worst act: Attempted assault

Created by: Gardner Fox (script), Bernard Baily (pencils)

The Gang of Gamblers are the sixth agents. Their mission? Take out the Spectre

Ye cats, did Mr. X just hate these guys outright?

The Gang has a brilliant idea-they will run several crooked games and make it look like the Spectre is a crook. 

I know I've said this before this month, but the ideas seem to be running a bit low at this point. The Spectre is taken for a ride and shot, which would be a huge problem if he wasn't already dead. 

Shockingly, the Spectre manages to round up with the gang without horribly killing all of them. I guess he felt sorry for them?

Bring on the Bad Guys: Joe the Butcher and Small Change

 Real names: Unrevealed 

First appearance: All-Star Comics#5 (June-July 1941)

Abilities: General thuggery

Worst act: Presumably something bad

Created by: Evelyn Gaines (script), Sheldon Mayer (pencils)

Taking a break from Mr. X to look in with Johnny Thunder. 

Johnny's got a new job, working as an elevator operator. He's a putz but he recognizes two thugs who look to do harm to his girlfriend's dad (who works in the same building). Thankfully he remembers the nigh omnipotent genie he has at his beck and call. 

Pretty simple but for Johnny Thunder I suppose this is about as good as it gets. 

Bring on the Bad Guys: Muscles

Real name: Unrevealed 

First appearance: All-Star Comics#5 (June-July 1941)

Abilities: Lifting 

Worst act: Attempted assault, racketeering 

Created by: Gardner Fox (script), Ben Flinton (pencils)

Muscles is the sixth agent. His mission? Take out the Atom

Lower stakes than last time. The plan this time is to harass every short person in town and get them to join a gym. 

They actually get lucky and snag the real deal, but the Atom makes short work of their equipment before beating them all into reforming. 

I feel that the energy is going out in this yarn with every chapter.