Aroma of Troma Week: Squeeze Play (1979)

 Squeeze Play (1979) dir. Lloyd Kaufman, Mountain Productions/Troma Entertainment 

After the disappointment of Big Gus, What's the Fuss? Kaufman and company decided keep with the comedy but add one thing they felt was lacking-copious amounts of nudity

Aroma of Troma Week: The Battle of Love's Return (1971)

 The Battle of Love's Return (1971) dir. Lloyd Kaufman, Troma Entertainment 

I was going through some old adverts one day this month and found a special for the then new Sci-Fi Channel. It seems for one week whole week back when the channel was still only seen in limited parts of the country they had something called 'the Aroma of Troma' which promised to be a week of nothing but Troma movies. Well, lacking anything else to do why not revive this old holiday once more?

Marvel Reimagined, part 3

 2000's

Here we get the Marvel Cinematic Universe tie-ins. 

Major characters: Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America (Steve Rogers), Ant-Man (Scott Lang), Wasp (Hope Pym), Spider-Man (Miles Morales), the Avengers, Black Widow (Yelena), Captain Marvel, X-Men (more of the new class, X-23, Hellion, Dust, etc.), Marvel Boy

2010's

Major characters: Ironheart, Hulk (Amadeus Cho), She-Hulk, Champions, Ms. Marvel, America Chavez, Young Avengers, Wolverine (X-23), Honey Badger

Captain America II: Death Too Soon, or Why I Don't Write for Films

 In the waking world, Captain America managed to do well enough to warrant another attempt. Captain America II: Death Too Soon first aired in the fall 1979, leading into 'Salem's Lot funny enough. So, assuming I had some pull at NBC back at the day, what would I do?

We see a black and white flashback to the war. Captain America (Reb Brown) and Bucky (Jackie Earle Haley) are fighting against hordes of Nazi stormtroopers, but they're slowly overrun. A sinister shadow falls over them, in which we see a flash of red before Steve Rogers (Brown) wakes up.

He's been living in basically a retirement village. All his neighbors are senior citizens, some of whom find it odd that an young man is not only so polite but has an interest in big bands and Jimmy Durante. His apartment is also a throw back (big radio, no TV, etc.). Dr. Mills (Len Birman) is concerned that Rogers isn't adjusting to the modern day, but Dr. Day (Connie Sellecca) insists that Steve needs more time.

Steve's been mostly working various odd jobs around the neighborhood and painting portraits on the side. When his neighbor Mrs. Shaw (Susan French) mentions that a group of hoods are rolling the seniors when they get their monthly checks, Steve steps up and beats the bums. 

Mills has other problems though; it seems one of his scientists has gone missing. Professor Ilson has vanished, shortly before he was due to testify before the Senate too. Mills and Steve check out the man's remote lab and find it trashed. They do find a message though. Ilson managed to scribble MIGU under a table. 

We see Ilson. He's currently being held at a supermax prison. He wasn't arrested though. No, it seems the prison is currently by General Miguel (Christopher Lee). He took over the prison complex and staffed it with his own men. He also wants the good professor to hurry up and finish work on his project. 

Mills and Cap are looking for Ilson though, and his project might be the key. All Mills knows is that Ilson was trying to recreate a biological weapon from the war, but there were no notes on it. One of the key components is a rare flower only found in Central America. It's rare and highly illegal. 

All of the flowers were burned in Ilson's lab, so they know whoever took them will need more. Checking the shipping manifests reveals one boat came in from Ecuador that morning. Steve heads down to the yards to check it out. 

He seems a strange red powder leaking from a create. One of the ship's crew sees him and attacks. he introduces himself to Cap. His name is Batroc, Batroc ze Leaper (John Saxon)! and soon Cap is having to fight off the entire ship. The crate is loaded onto a separate truck and driven off as Cap has the crew arrested. Batroc escapes with the crate though, but Cap finds out his destination. 

The quaint town of Bellville is home to the supermax prison. It also seems to be a ghost town, populated by a few thugs. Steve runs into them on the road in and wrecks his van. He's taken by Helen and her son. He rest for a bit on their farm outside of town and gets some info. Basically the prison was the main job supplier but it shutdown. It seemed to open back up but no goes in or out anymore. Her son Pete is taken with Steve, but freaks out when his lamb goes missing. Steve finds it, or rather something like it. It's hideously deformed, scarred and bright red. This makes Steve flashback to the war. "No, it's impossible!"

A similarly deformed cat is sent to DC. Unless certain demands are met, then the entire city of Portland will be next. Steve is spotted in town and picked up by the sheriff. Seems when Miguel took over the prison, he started pumping funky chemicals into the water. Unless everyone in town gets a booster shot regularly they'll end up like that lamb. No one can move or say anything...but Steve's new here. If he could maybe escape and get word out?

Steve obliges and makes a get away in the sheriff's car. He gets back to his van and changes to Captain America and readies his bike. He races back to town and storms the prison. He fights his way through the guards and red faced Dobermans before crashing into the warden's office. 

"Ah Captain, excellent to see you again." Miguel pours himself a drink as Chopin's Funeral March plays in the background. 

"That voice...it can't be!"

Miguel picks up a red skull faced masked. "Surprised? I was trapped in a bunker near the war's end when an experimental gas flooded it. The gas kept me in suspended animation until I was revived a few years ago. In that time I've gone through many names; currently my men know me as General Miguel but for old time's sake..."

"The Red Skull!" Cap launches himself at the Skull and the two fight. Batroc sees the fight but doesn't intervene. The Skull gases Cap and orders him tied up downstairs. Batroc follows orders but when alone with the Captain, he unlocks his cell door. "Batroc never breaks a contract, but my orders were to take you to a cell. Having done so, I consider my employment terminated." He leaves a vial marked antidote before he leaves. 

Cap fights his way out of the prison and chases after the Skull. He wrecks the car with his bike's missiles and chases him into the woods. "We're more alike than you think Captain!" the Skull's voice taunts him. "Both orphans of the Great War, both made into symbols for our countries." The Skull tries to ambush Cap but only stabs his helmet stuck on a branch.

They eye each other from across the wood. They both charge, with the Skull pulling out a vial of red death and tossing it just as Cap throws his shield. The vial explodes into the Skull's face, shriveling his head to that of a red skull. Cap grimly picks up his shield. 

Soon the antidote is passed out to the town and Cap heads back to Mills and Day.     

Captain America, Or Why I Shouldn't Write for Films

 The Marvel Reimagined series will continue, but I'd like to take today to do another exercise in cinematic what if?

1979 saw the debut of Captain America, staring Reb Brown. It wasn't very good. So, assuming I had some pull in the late 70's with NBC, what would I do?

We open in the late 1940's. Through newsreel footage, we learn the origin of Captain America, basically a skinny 4-F named Steve Rogers is picked for Project: Rebirth and transformed into the peak of human perfection (Reb Brown). Along with his plucky best friend Bucky Barnes (Jackie Earle Haley) they lead the assault against the Axis.

That is until 1945. Assaulting the castle stronghold of Baron Henirich Zemo gets Bucky blown up and Cap MIA. Frozen in the deep waters, we open proper (and it color) with a sheet covered body being wheeled into a secret lab. 

Dr. Simon Mills (Len Birman) and Dr. Wendy Day (Heather Menzies) oversee the process. Seems a group of first nation folk found the frozen body in Greenland and had it turned into a shrine. Mills and Day take the body back to their lab in LA. Mills hopes to extract the Super Solider serum that hopefully still rests in the body. Both are shocked when the presumed corpse sits up. Despite their efforts to calm the situation, Cap thinks he's being held prisoner. 

Fighting his way out of the lab, he steals a motorcycle and races out of the complex. A massive hunt is undertaken, but Cap outfights them all and makes his way to the beach. He's having some culture shock when he's taken in by Lou Bracket (Steve Forrest), who claims he owes Captain America a great debt. 

That's when Cap runs into Jeff Haden, an old war buddy turned private investigator. Haden is shocked to see his supposedly dead comrade alive and unchanged but when Cap mentions how Mr. Bracket is helping him adjust, Haden tells him that Bracket can't be trusted. He has evidence too, just come to his old place tonight. Unseen by the pair, two men (Haley and Rudy) watch and listen. 

Cap slips away from Bracket's house and hoofs it to Haden's home just in time to see it blow up. He rushes in and pulls the dying man out. He manages to utter the word 'Helmut' before dying. Cap spots Rudy and Haley leaving. He heads back to Mills and Day, wanting answers on Bracket.

Bracket's background is a mystery. He's an orphan and made his fortune on oil and pharmaceuticals. Lately he's been getting into energy, nuclear and the like. Mills has a gift for Cap though, a new bike. Cap takes it out for a spin when a copter flown by Haley shows up and tries to kill him.

With a lot of fancy tricks, Cap turns the tables and causes Haley to crash. He pulls the dying man out of the wreck, but he spits on Cap and curses him out in German. He remembers that Haden talked about a daughter, so he has Mills check her out. 

He finds her but so does Rudy. Seems Tina's a scientist too, with a field of study in neutron bombs. Rudy tries to kidnap her, but Cap beats him up. Bracket appears and abducts her though. From there we get his idea. 

Seems he's been fibbing on a few things. He's really an orphan though...after his father died fighting the good captain. Yup, Lou Bracket's real name is really Helmut Zemo and he's looking for some overdue payback. 

Oh, he was originally going to blackmail the US with a neutron bomb (that he had Tina work on) but if he can kill Cap too? Well, that's just a bonus. Plus he has the bomb set to a dead man's switch inside his chest, so if Cap kills him, LA goes too. He challenges Cap to fight, winner take all.

They fight. Cap gets the upper hand but refuses to finish Zemo off. When Zemo tries to kill himself, Day saves his life while Tina and Mills defuse the bomb. 

Cap decides to stay with Mills and Day. He's got some catching up to do but he still wants to fight for the American Dream. 

At the end, a black clad hand picks up a phone. "He's returned". The man (Christopher Lee) is surprised but pleased. "So my old enemy, you've returned..." he chuckles as the credits role.     

Marvel Reimagined, part 2

 So, I'd say treat this exercise like the Ultimate Comics experiment, expect not everyone is a jerk.

1960's

For the swinging sixties we'd get into the rise of superheroes

Major characters: Fantastic Four (more or less the same. I've seen plenty of similar posts putting them in this time period, and I think they would work best in this time frame. I've also seen plenty of posts suggesting the foursome get frozen somehow and end up in present day. Since I'd like to keep this as original as possible, I'd just have them either age naturally or just not have it commented on), Captain America (James Munroe, yup former Bucky of the 50's just grows up and puts on the costume which he'll wear until a certain story in the 1970's but more on that later), Dr. Strange, Ka-Zar, the X-Men (first line up), Silver Surfer, Dr. Druid

UNCANNY X-MEN, FANTASTIC FOUR, AMAZING FANTASY, TALES TO ASTONISH, JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY, TALES OF SUSPENSE 

1970's

More supernatural shenanigans 

Major characters: Spider-Man (Peter Parker), Daredevil, Black Widow, Hercules, Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze), Dracula, Werewolf By Night, Moon Knight, Howard the Duck, the Defenders (Dr. Strange, Silver Surfer, Namor), the Champions, Nomad (Jack Munroe), Captain America (Roscoe Simmons, who has a slightly longer tenure here but falls in the line of duty all the same), Man-Thing, Kickers, Inc. (yes, a team from the New Universe. A bunch of off season football players have adventures. Why not?) X-Men (second lineup, Storm, Nightcrawler, etc.), the Punisher, Jessica Jones, Tagark the Leapord Lord

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, DAREDEVIL, CHAMPIONS, DEFENDERS, GHOST RIDER, TOMB OF DRACULA, MAN-THING, HOWARD THE DUCK, MARVEL TEAM-UP, MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE, KILLRAVEN, SHOGUN WARRIORS, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, LUKE CAGE: HERO FOR HIRE, IRON FIST, THE ETERNALS, THE PUNISHER 

1980's

Major characters: Captain America (Jack Walker, who ditches the suit to become US Agent), Earth Force, Crystar the Crystal Warrior, Wolverine, Alpha Flight, Excalibur, New Mutants, Power Pack, X-Men (third lineup: Kitty Pryde, Dazzler, Longshot, Magneto, Phoenix, Psylocke), Firestar, Captain Marvel (Mar-Vell), Ant-Man (Hank Pym), Wasp (Janet Van Dyne)

POWER PACK, CRYSTAR THE CRYSTAL WARRIOR, ALPHA FLIGHT, WOLVERINE, NEW MUTANTS, EXCALIBUR, HEROES FOR HIRE,     

1990's

The time of EXTREMMEEE and pouches

Major characters: Jack Flag, Free Spirit, Vagabond (in lieu of Captain America), New Warriors, Cable, Deadpool, X-Force, X-Men (Rogue, Gambit, Jubilee, Bishop, Cannonball, Sunspot), X-Factor (Government run mutant team), Generation X, Slapstick, Ms. Marvel, Skrull Kill Krew, Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD

NEW WARRIORS, DEADPOOL, GENERATION X, X-FORCE, X-FACTOR 

 

 

Marvel Reimagined-Or Why I Probably Shouldn't be Allowed to Write for Marvel Comics

 Those of you that follow this blog might recall a few posts some time ago when I did a different take on DC's New 52 relaunch. So, what would I do if Marvel hired me?

For the licensed books, nothing. So, STAR WARS, ALIENS, PREDATOR, ULTRAMAN, and CONAN (to an extent) would be left as they are.

Rather than group all the books by character or theme, I figured I'd go by decade.

Pre-1930's

Much like DC, I'd have some diversity in my titles. Superheroes are fine, but there's Black Knights aplenty and gunfighters galore, so some historical books would be on the plate. Almost forgot the Black Panther; I know DC is better known for their legacy characters but Marvel has a few. With the Black Panther, we could have a masked hero working across time in any situation you can think of. 

MARVEL TALES, TWO-GUN KID, KID COLT, WILD WESTERN, MEN'S ADVENTURES

Major characters: Two-Gun Kid, Apache Kid, the Black Knight, Caleb Hammer, Gunhawks, Arizona Annie

1930's and the 1940's

Here I'd used the Timely characters, more or less unchanged. Overall theme would be a changing world (more super humans, mutants, etc.). 

DARING MYSTERY COMICS, NAMOR, THE HUMAN TORCH, CAPTAIN AMERICA COMICS, THE INVADERS, MISS AMERICA, USA COMICS and YOUNG ALLIES

Major characters: Captain America (Steve Rogers), Namor the Sub-Mariner, Human Torch (Jim Hammond), Miss America, the Whizzer, Bucky, Toro.

One major change: Steve Rogers still gets frozen in 1945 and the mantle passed on, first to the Spirit of '76 then the Patriot in 1947. The Howling Commandoes are still here, but lead by Jake Fury, who is active until the 1960's. Always had a problem with the 'Infinity Formula' so we'd be cutting back on that. 

1950's

Atlas characters run amuck. Giant monsters, horror, and teen romance.

TILLIE THE TYPIST, MILLIE THE MODEL, WEIRD TALES, MARVEL FEATURES

Major characters: Captain America (William Burnside, Cap of the 50's), Bucky (James Monroe), Captain John Battle, Marvel Boy, Jimmy Woo, Venus, Gorilla Man, 3-D Man, Human Robot, Namora, Sun Girl

More next week when we get into the swinging 60's.